Like a drunk but not

I'm alive.

Over the past month
I've dealt with a great amount of hurt but once I think through it again, it was nothing compared to things that I had to go through further back.

I've let go.

I've had my birthday.

I've been interstate.

I've taken an endless amount of photographs.

I've found happiness.

I've stuck by my word and will continue to do so.

I've got back on my feet.

I've been frustrated by the fact that there are people who rely on my web log to keep track of my life. Yeah, well, I guess you were screwed for a month when I didn't post, hey.
Particularly, because of this, I can no longer write and post the things I have in past. So, really, that's why I have not bothered posting. People are judgemental in situations that are just not their place to.
This is exactly why this post will not contain anything elaborately and exceedingly personal.

I don't believe I owe an apology to any single person because of this.
Apart of me wanted to write and tell the world all that I've been doing, that I've bought, that I've worn... but, as strange as it sounds, a break from posting was something that I had to do.
This break is something that I will continue to do. I don't even know for how long.
Goodness, I could be up and posting again tomorrow!

But, until then, I thank you and wish you well.
Live long and prosper, bitches.
(I just thought I'd exit with a bit of oomph.)

Every time you let us slip down your list of priorities

I'm turning seventeen this Friday, September tenth.

Y'know, I've changed so much in the last year and I've made more mistakes than I ever had before.
I persisted and I gave up, I held on and I let go, I laughed uncontrollably and I broke down...

I've recently come to a conclusion that turning seventeen isn't 'a nothing' milestone after all.
I mean, it's after sixteen where you're still that immature little shit that did so much wrong, yet it's before eighteen when you're basically allowed to do everything you're doing when you're seventeen - only, legally.

I initially wrote this following list up on paper with intentions of scanning it, but one of my mates decided to be an idiot and steal it (hence, a lot of things will be missing from this list).
Without further adieu though, here's what so many people seem to be so curious about...

Tuyen's birthday wish list 2010

Books:

• Once/Then/Now by Morris Gleitzman
• The Dead of the Night (book 2) and onwards of the Tomorrow series by John Marsden
• The Resistance by Gemma Malley
• Any book that is worth not only reading, but owning

Latest records of:

Lisa Mitchell, Paramore, Michael Buble, Cloud Control, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Sarah Blasko, Operator Please, Boys Like Girls, The Sundance Kids, Mumford and Sons,Vampire Weekend, Florence and The Machine...

Things (all things desperately needed and pointless):

• Lomography cameras + film (and lots of it)
• A fucking (yes, that was appropriate) hair straightener
• Journals - from journals like One Line A Day by Chronicle Books to '365' from Kikki.K. From Listography to the gorgeous leather bound Moleskines...
• Justin leather fringed lace up boots
• Guitar strap + attachment tabs
• Stockings + socks
• Shoes
• Type writer
• Hamburger phone
• Apple pie
• Macaroons
• Cloud Control tickets
• Samsung headphones (bloody hell...)
• Black felt tip/s - Artline 0.2, 0.4, 0.6 (I buy them excessively... but it's just never enough!)

Things that I won't end up getting for an infinity number of reasons:

• DSLR
• Digital camera with a decent camcorder function
• New guitar
• Mahogany ukulele
• Paramore tickets
• An older sister
• Something-I-can't-post-on-my-blogger
• Much needed loss of fat
• Permanent happiness
• Record player
• Complete time control

I'm sure there's plenty more from each category, but I'm feelin' blue so I'll stop there.

On an unrelated note,
I went to see Tomorrow, When the War Began with some of my girls and, goodness, I loved the film.
I'll leave it at that or else you'll be reading 'til dawn.

I hope you're all feeling a whole freakin' lot better than I am.
Enjoy tomorrow's weather Adelaidians.
I'm sick of the ever changing forecast...Is there anything in this hectic world that's set in stone?

Class-act

Emotional break down.

Fuck,
I'm stuck in a rut.

Months have passed and I actually started believing that, maybe, just maybe, I was going to be okay.
More than okay.

But the days continue to wear on and I find myself aching more than ever.

I'm mostly mad at myself.
It doesn't seem to make sense for me to let go of something that I knew I wanted so very much...
But it also doesn't make sense for me to hold on when there's nothing there.

I want to relive moments.
I want to tell people that they can't come and go as they please.
I want to prove them all wrong.
I want to yell and scream that promises are meant to be kept. Accompanied by ongoing profanity.
I want the world to know that I'm feeling no different from what I was those few months ago, I've just figured out ways to hide it.

I'm tired of putting on a brave face when I'm so heavily broken.

Goodbye, winter. I miss you already. 
Welcome, spring. Hello, hay fever.

Like the taste of your smile

Photo post 

(After my rant)

Vegans of the world,
My hat goes off to you.
Vegetarians haven't got it even half as difficult as you do.

Being a vegan for forty hours was a challenge, not because I wanted to consume 'animal products' but because I had to be pedantic and obsessively and incredibly careful with everything I was eating...
"Could I have an Earl Grey, with one sugar and a dash of... soy milk?"
"What sort of salad dressing is in this?"
"Is that bread gluten free?"
"Was there any meat or fish in that?"
"What was that fried in?"

I suppose you'd have to be so, very passionate or have some kind of medical issue to be a vegan.
I mean, there's all those heavenly dairy products out there just screaming at you to down 'em!

I've never been too fond of meat. It's just meat. Animal, really.
More or so than ever, I think eating meat is just a habit among humans.
There's no need to live off meat - it's just taking the easy way.

Funny thing is, my decision of giving up furniture for forty hours was more difficult than being a vegan...
I've had two nights of uncomfortable sleep, what, with having to sleep on the floor of my living room.
It was so awkward standing on public transport when there was clearly enough seats for another twenty people.
On my break at work this morning, I sat on the floor while my fellow workmates made me paranoid in asking me if I was "sure there's no animal product in tomato sauce" (yeah... I wasn't thinking at the time).

The thing is, giving up these sorts of luxuries that we have for the Forty Hour Famine is, really, such a challenge because it's things we already have.
I know you must hear it all the time from your 'rents, teachers or whatnot but we really do take so much for granted.
That's the effect of this world wide 'famine' - us fortunate ones come to realise that we have it well off compared to, say, the kids in Nepal.

Thank you to all those who sponsored me!
In either big or small $$, you've made some sort of difference.
If you haven't donated yet, no worries, FIND ME/anyone participating in the 40HF ASAP or donate online!

I will leave you with photos of my outing with the girls yesterday.
Bethany and Kim went without food for forty hours and were such grumps by the end of the day, haha!

The blood in my veins

You know those white kids who think they're more awesome than they actually are that you see every so often being a nuisance by finding their way through the streets by skateboard?
Yeah. I wanna be the second half of that phrase.

I have always wanted to skateboard. 
I had a board when I was a wee little thing - I just couldn't ride it. I never knew how to and the last thing I felt like doing was teaching myself.

I think this is an important thing you should know -
That I wish I could skateboard.

I'd love my skateboard as much as I adore my guitar and would bring it nearly everywhere.
I'd be one of the kids that look like they're going to run amok somewhere... but wouldn't.
Just probably stack it a whore darn lot and cause some damage to myself.

I saw a girl come out of a second hand book store the other day. She hopped on out of the store and put herself on that skateboard. I gleamed at her because I couldn't think of anything else to do to cover for my staring prior to my gleaming. 

Yes, it's crucial that you know these things.

...*Adds skateboard to birthday wish list*

The weekend is looking goooooooood!!