I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE.
But when have I actually really been entirely certain about something in life? Something that lasts.I'm so frustrated! I'm confused, upset and disappointed. I'm hopeful, wishful and selfish.
I'm feeling all sorts of things but the only thing I'm not feeling is sure.
I'm not even sure that I'm sure that I'm not sure!
This post has been stuck in my drafts for a day or so and I finally have the courage to post it. I am able to finish it.
It's how I'm feeling. It's how I am right now.
I just totally screwed myself over. I TRIED, okay?!
I tell myself that this time, this time, it'll be different.
This time I won't fall again, I won't bother with the male species.
But what happens when you've come past a boy that you realise is wonderful in so many different ways?
What can you do other than fall? It's uncontrollable. Emotions like this aren't planned!
...What happens when there's no hope at all, though. There's no hope ever.
For anything. Ever.
I mean, why hope anyway?! Life fucks you over in one way or the other... sooner or later.
Who, well and truly, is allowed a happy ending after life itself??
I don't know. Can someone just please help? Please?
Figure this out for me. There wasn't ever any hope in all of this.
And now I'm just stuck in this viscous circle...
Because sometimes hope is all we have and it's what keeps us going.
ReplyDeleteIt's true that life will screw us over. But we've eventually got to pick ourselves up and move onto the next adventure life has planned for us.
It's upsetting knowing that something is making you so frustrated and upset. I'm not good with giving advice or fixing things but I am a good listener. So, just know that I'm here if you need someone to listen to you.
I hope everything starts falling into place for you Tuyen and that happiness comes back and stays.